At some point in my life Christmas season became a time not so much for holiday stress but for holiday sadness. At some point Christmas became an event that was not about me, but about my children, and that was a point that heralded adulthood. That was okay. But later in life, the point at which the sadness began, was after the children were grown and gone and even had children of their own. Christmas season, winter solstice, the end of the year, came to represent, and remind me, of the waning days of my own temporary existence here on Earth. And when one begins to think about the end of life, ambitions and aspirations for the future become much more difficult to manifest.